Sunday, February 25, 2007

Don't Be A Drongo, Mate! (An Australian Tale.)

Woke up at a sparrow's fart in the backpackers, back o' Bourke, hungry for a real bonzer brekky. Found this pub and ordered some real dinkum tucker. The ridgy-didge. Just settled down to my pie floater when here comes this battler, all done up in his bathers, and wants to trade words with my sheila, perving at her with lusty eyes. Piss weak, jumped-up piker he was, and I told him so. I said, "Mate, Buckley's Chance you've got with her." He was either a banana bender or a crow eater, and didn't quite get the message. So I clout him one, a real ripper right across the chin. So knackered he was after my punch, the ocker fell right down.

(Translated: Got up at dawn in a hostel, hungry for a good breakfast. Found a pub and ordered some really good food. I'd just begun eating a meat pie when an overly confident guy in a swimsuit tried to flirt with my wife. I told him he had no chance. He didn't get the hint, so I punched him and he fell down.)

This story is a furphy. (A fiction.)


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